New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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