just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
These tits shall not be calmed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
