he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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