32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
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