Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize