1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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