and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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