Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
