i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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