I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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