If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
only if we run a train.
done.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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