hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
