I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize