guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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