i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
