also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
did i just pee glitter
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
