Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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