it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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