real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
