She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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