I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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