HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
