So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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