Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
