I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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