I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
