He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
