We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to have your abortion
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
