He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
