If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
