he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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