dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
