So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
