I can tuck mytits in my pants
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize