I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
