You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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