She announced her abortion via fbk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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