Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
