you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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