i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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