What did we do last night that was yellow?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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