One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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