woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
