i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
