she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
