did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're too hungover to prance.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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