I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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