bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
