There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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