and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
