Kiss
Puke
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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