We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
