Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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