I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
