he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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