No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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