I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
