he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
BRING THE BAGELS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
