I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My feet surprised me
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