I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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