i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
